"'Look here, Dan,' says I to Bassett, 'are you goin' to keep this up till judgment? There ain't but thirty votin' names in this place—except the chaps off fishin', and they won't be back till fall. Fifteen is for you and fifteen for Gaius. Most astonishin' agreement of difference ever I see. We'll never have a president, at this rate.'

"He winked. 'Won't, hey?' he says. 'Sure you've counted right? I make it thirty-one.'

"'I don't see how,' says I, puzzled. 'Nobody's left outside the club but Jotham himself, and he—'

"'That's all right,' he interrupts, winkin' again. 'You be on hand next Tuesday night. You can't always tell, maybe somethin'll happen.'

"I was on hand, all right, and somethin' did happen, two somethin's, in fact. We hadn't much more'n got in our seats afore the door opened, and in walked Gaius Ellis, arm in arm with a man; and the man was the Honorable Stingy Gabe Atkinson Holway.

"'Gentlemen,' sings out Gaius, bubblin' over with joy, 'I propose three cheers for our founder, who has returned to us after his long absence.'

"We give the cheers—that is, some of the folks did. Bassett and our gang wa'n't cheerin' much; they looked as if somebody had passed 'em a counterfeit note. You see, Gabe Holway was one of the hide-boundest Progressives afloat, and a blind man could see who'd got him back again and which way he'd vote. It sartinly looked bad for Bassett now.

"Gaius proposes that, out of compliment, as founder of the club, Mr. Holway be asked to preside. So he was asked, though the Conservatives wa'n't very enthusiastic. Gabe took the chair, preached a little sermon about bein' glad to see his native home once more, and raps for order.

"'If there's no other business afore the meetin',' says he, 'we will proceed to ballot for president.'

"But it turned out that there was other business. Dan Bassett riz to his feet and commenced one of the most feelin' addresses ever I listened to.

"Fust he congratulated all hands upon the success of Mr. Holway's philanthropic scheme for the betterment of South Orham's male citizens. Jeered at at fust by the unregenerate, it had gone on, winnin' its way into the hearts of the people, until one by one the said unregenerate had regenerated, and now the club numbered thirty souls and the Honorable Atkinson.

"'But,' says Dan, wavin' his arms, 'one man yet remains outside. One lone man! The chief sinner, you say? Yes, I admit it. But, gentlemen, a repentant sinner. Alone he sits amid the wreck of his business—a business wrecked by us, gentlemen—without a customer, without a friend. Shall it be said that the free and open-handed men's club of South Orham turned its back upon one man, merely because he HAS been what he was? Gentlemen, I have talked with Jotham Gale; he is old, he is friendless, he no longer has a means of livelihood—we have taken it from him. We have turned his followers' steps to better paths. Shall we not turn his, also? Gentlemen and friends, Jotham Gale is repentant, he feels his ostrichism'—whatever he meant by that—'he desires to become self-respecting, and he asks us to help him. He wishes to join this club. Gentlemen, I propose for membership in our association the name of Jotham W. Gale.'

"He set down and mopped his face. And the powwow that broke loose was somethin' tremendous. Of course 'twas plain enough what Dan's game was. This was the 'somethin'' that was goin' to happen.

"Ellis see the way the land lay, and he bounces up to protest. 'Twas an outrage; a scandal; ridiculous; and so forth, and so on. Poor Gabe didn't know what to do, and so he didn't do nothin'. A head Conservative seconds Jotham's nomination. 'Twas put to a vote and carried easy. Dan's speech had had its effect and a good many folks voted out of sympathy. How did I vote? I'LL never tell you.

"And then Bassett gets up, smilin', goes to the outside door, opens it, and leads in the new member. He'd been waitin' on the steps, it turned out. Jotham looked mighty quiet and meek. I pitied the poor old codger more'n ever. Snaked in, he was, out of the wet, like a yeller dog, by the club that had kicked him out of his own shop.

"Chairman Gabe pounds for order, and suggests that the votin' can go on. But Ellis jumps up, and says he:

"'What's the sense of votin' now?' he asks sarcastic. 'Will the lost lamb we've just yanked into the fold have the face to stand up and bleat that he hasn't promised to vote Conservative? Dan Bassett, of all the contemptible tricks that ever—'

"Bassett's face was redder'n a ripe tomatter. He shakes his fist in Gaius's face and yells opinions and comments.

"'Don't you talk to me about tricks, you ward-heeler!' he hollers. 'Why did you fetch Mr. Holway back home? Why did you, hey? That was the trickiest trick that I—'

"Gabe pretty nigh broke his mallet thumpin'.

"'Gentlemen! gentlemen!' says he. 'This is most unseemly. Sit down, if you PLEASE. Mr. Ellis, when the purpose of this association is considered, it seems to me very wrong to find fault because the chief of our former antagonists has seen the error of his ways and become one of us. Mr. Bassett, I do not understand your intimation concernin' myself. I shall adjourn this meetin' until next Friday evenin', gentlemen. Meanwhile, let us remember that we ARE gentlemen.'

"He thumped the desk once, and parades out of the buildin', dignified as Julius Caesar. The rest of us toddled along after him, all talkin' at once. Bassett and Ellis glowered at each other and hove out hints about what would happen afore they got through. 'Twas half-past ten afore I got to bed that night, and Sarah J.—that's Mrs. Stitt—kept me awake another hour explainin' whys and wherefores.

"For the next three days nobody done anything but knock off work and talk club politics. You'd see 'em on the corners and in the post office and camped on the meetin'-house steps, arguin' and jawin'. Dan and Gaius was hurryin' around, moppin' their foreheads and lookin' worried. On Thursday there was all sorts of rumors afloat. Finally they all simmered down to one, and that one was what made me stop Stingy Gabe on the street and ask for my bearin's.

"'Mr. Holway,' says I, 'is it true that Dan and Gaius have resigned and agreed to vote for somebody else?'

"He nodded, grand and complacent.

"'Then who's the somebody?' says I. 'For the land sakes! tell me. It's as big a miracle as the prodigal son.'

"I remember now that the prodigal son ain't a miracle, but I was excited then.

"'Stitt,' says he, 'I am the "somebody," as you call it. I have decided to let my own wishes and inclinations count for nothin' in this affair, and to accept the office of president myself. It will be announced at the meetin'.'

"I whistled. 'By gum!' says I. 'You've got a great head, Mr. Holway, and I give you public credit for it. It's the only course that ain't full of breakers. Did you think of it yourself?'

"He colored up a little. 'Why, no, not exactly,' he says. 'The fact is, the credit belongs to our new member, Mr. Gale.'

"'To JOTHAM?' says I, astonished.

"'Yes. He suggested my candidacy, as a compromise. Said that he, for one, would be proud to vote for me. Mr. Gale seems thoroughly repentant, a changed man. I am counting on him for great things in the future.'

"So the fuss seemed settled, thanks to the last person on earth you'd expect would be peacemaker. But that afternoon I met Darius Tompkins, Bassett's right-hand man.

"'Bailey,' says he, 'you're a Conservative, ain't you? You're for Dan through thick and thin?'

"'Why!' says I, 'I understand Dan and Gaius are both out of it now, and it's settled on Holway. Dan's promised to vote for him.'

"'HE has,' says Tompkins, with a wink, 'but the rest of us ain't. We pledged our votes to Dan Bassett, and we ain't the kind to go back on our word. Dan himself'll vote for Gabe; so'll Gaius and his reg'lar tribe. That'll make twelve, countin' Holway's own.'

"'Make seventeen, you mean,' says I. 'Gaius and his crowd's fifteen and Dan's sixteen and Gabe's seven—'

"He winked again, and interrupted me. 'You're countin' wrong, my boy,' says he. 'Five of Gaius's folks come from the old billiard-room gang. Just suppose somethin' happened to make that five vote, on the quiet, for Bassett. Then—'

"A customer come in then, and Tompkins had to leave; but afore he went he got me to one side and whispers:

"'Keep mum, old man, and vote straight for Dan. We'll show old Holway that we can't be led around by the nose.'

"'Tompkins,' says I, 'I know your head well enough to be sartin that it didn't work this out by itself. And why are you so sure of the billiard roomers? Who put you up to this?'

"He rapped the side of his nose. 'The smartest politician in this town,' says he, 'and the oldest—J. W. Gale, Esq.! S-s-sh-h! Don't say nothin'.'

"I didn't say nothin'. I was past talk. And that evenin' as I went past the billiard room on my way home, who should come out of it but Gaius Ellis, and HE looked as happy as Tompkins had.

"Friday night that clubroom was filled. Every member was there, and most of 'em had fetched their wives and families along to see the fun. There was whisperin' and secrecy everywheres. Honorable Gabe took the chair and makes announcements that the shebang is open for business.

"Up gets Dave Bassett and all but sheds tears. He says that he made up his mind to vote, not for himself, but for the founder and patron of the club, the Honorable Atkinson Holway. He spread it over Gabe thick as sugar on a youngster's cake. And when he set down all hands applauded like fury. But I noticed that he hadn't spoke for nary Conservative but himself.

"Then Gaius Ellis rises and sobs similar. He's stopped votin' for himself, too. His ballot is for that grand and good man, Gabriel Atkinson Holway, Esq. More applause and hurrahs.

"And then who should get up but Jotham Gale. He talks humble, like a has-been that knows he's a back number, but he says it's his privilege to cast his fust vote in that club for Mr. Holway, South Orham's pride. Nobody was expectin' him to say anything, and the cheers pretty nigh broke the winders.

"Gabe was turrible affected by the soft soap, you could see that. He fairly sobbed as he sprinkled gratitude and acceptances. When the agony was over, he says the votin' can begin.

"I cal'lated he expected somebody'd move to make it unanimous, but they didn't. So the blank ballots was handed around, and the pencils got busy. Gabe app'ints three tellers, Bassett and Ellis, of course, for two—and the third, Jotham Gale.

"'As a compliment to our newest member,' says the chairman, smilin' philanthropic.

"When the votes was in the hat, the tellers retired to the amusement room to count up. It took a long time. I see the Conservatives and Progressives nudgin' each other and winkin' back and forth. Five minutes, then ten, then fifteen.

"And all of a sudden the biggest row bu'st loose in that amusement room that ever you heard. Rattlety—bang! Biff! Smash! The door flew open, and in rolled Bassett and Ellis, all legs and arms. Gabe and some of the rest hauled 'em apart and held 'em so, but the language them two hove at each other was enough to bring down a judgment.

"'Gentlemen! gentlemen!' hollers poor Gabe. 'What in the world? I am astounded! I—'

"'You miserable traitor!' shrieks Gaius, wavin' a fist at Dan.

"'You low-down hound!' whoops Dan back at him.

"'Silence!' bellers Gabe, poundin' thunder storms on the desk. 'Will some one explain why these maniacs are—Ah, Mr. Gale—thank goodness, YOU at least are sane!'

"Jotham walks to the front of the platform. He was holdin' the hat and a slip of paper with the result set down on it.

"'Ladies and feller members,' says he, 'there's been some surprisin' votin' done in this election. Things ain't gone as we cal'lated they would, somehow. Mr. Holway, your election wa'n't unanimous, after all.'

"The way he said it made most everybody think Gabe was elected, anyhow, and I guess Holway thought so himself, for he smiled forgivin' and says:

"'Never mind, Mr. Gale,' says he. 'A unanimous vote was perhaps too much to expect. Go on.'

"'Yes,' says Jotham. 'Well, here's the way it stands. I'll read it to you.'

"He fixes his specs and reads like this:

"'Number of votes cast, 32.'

"'Honorable Atkinson Holway has 4.'

"'WHAT?' gasps Stingy Gabe, fallin' into his chair.

"'Yes, sir,' says Jotham. 'It's a shame, I know, but it looks as nobody voted for you, Mr. Holway, but yourself and me and Dan and Gaius. To proceed:

"'Daniel Bassett has 9.'

"The Conservatives and their women folks fairly groaned out loud. Tompkins jumped to his feet, but Jotham held up a hand.