17 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do Anymore | Jenny Offill

17 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do Anymore | Jenny Offill | I laughed so hard I cried!

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17 Things I'm Not ...

	17 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do Anymore Jenny Offill Schwartz & Wade, 2006 - 32 pages average customer review:based on 38 reviews view larger image
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I had an idea to staple my brother's hair to his pillow. I am not allowed to use the stapler anymore.

Here's a kid full of ideas, all day long. For example, in the morning, gluing her brother's bunny slippers to the floor sounds like a good plan. But now she's not allowed to use glue anymore. And what about when she shows Joey Whipple her underpants?they're only underpants, right? Turns out she's not allowed to do that again, either. And isn't broccoli the perfect gift for any brother? It's just too bad her parents don't think so. But she has the last laugh in this humerous first picture book by an acclaimed novelist of books for adults.

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Great Book!

I read this book to my class and -- GASP! -- not ONE of them proceeded to set classmates on fire, show off their underwear, or display any of the other behaviors from the book. Judging from some of the reviews here, you'd think my whole class would become satan worshipers and start kicking puppies instead of soccer balls upon hearing this book.

What they DID do is laugh. A lot. This book was a lot of fun, and good for discussion, too. What exactly happened between the page where she told what she did and the page where she states she's not allowed to do it anymore?

But then we're having a conversation about her behavior, which some constipated, self-righteous prudes would rather we not do. According to them, if we don't see it in books (or TV or wherever), we won't be forced to talk about it, and if we don't talk about it, we won't think about it, and if we don't think about it, we won't do it. Too funny!

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I laughed so hard I cried!

This is what Junie B. Jones will be like in about the third grade.
This is also one of the funniest books I've ever read. I was trying to keep quiet as I was reading it in the library and just ended up coughing, snorting, wheezing, crying and eventualy leaving the room so I could let the laughter out. I don't think kids will see this as a "how to" for bad behavior. The mischief the girl gets into is so absurd I can't imagine most kids being inspired by it.
Brilliant illustrations!

A naughty main character does not equal a bad book

Regardless of what you think, this is still a great book for its illustrations and its story. For those who judge the book only on its implications on the potential readers, you do not give enough credit to the discerning readers nor to the guidance of their parents. Also, how can you judge a book on what you think readers will take away from it? It is a funny and well done book. The same can be said about "Curious George," "Eloise," "Peter Rabbit," "Where the Wild Things Are," "Angelina Ballerina," "Captain Underpants," the Fudge books, and many, many others!

For the curious, here's a list of the naughty things the main character does:

1. Staples her brother's hair to his pillow
2. Glues her brother's bunny slippers to the floor
3. Tells her brother that he would be eaten by hyenas
4. Walks backward to school
5. Does her school report on beavers instead of George Washington as assigned
6. Tells the class that she owns a hundred beavers
7. Shows a boy her underpants (while doing a cartwheel)
8. Sets fire to the boy's shoe with a magnifying glass
9. Walks backward home
10. Freezes a fly in an ice cube
11. Throws a cauliflower at her brother (as he says grace)
12. Washes her hands in the dog's water bowl
13. Orders a better dinner from her mother (as though she were a waitress)
14. Tells the story of a mother who fell into a volcano (of mashed potatoes)
15. Pretends not to hear mother as she scolds
16. Attempts to run away (to live with beavers)

and finally, what apparently upsets the critics so much...

17. Says the opposite of what she means to trick everyone. This is accompanied by an illustration of the girl saying "I'm sorry" as she is hugged by her smiling mother. The girl looks back with a mischievous grin while hiding a stapler behind her back. The final line reads "I am allowed to say the opposite of what I mean forevermore."

There, judge for yourself if you'd read it to your child, but please do not say it is a "horrible" book because it is very well done.

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I don't mind the book that much, but the nieces weren't very into it.

Read it in the bookstore.

Some of the misadventures are a little over-the-top in general mean-spiritedness, I'll agree. Most of them, though, are just what you'd expect a bright, bored child to come up with - like walking backwards all the way home.

As far as her encouraging "lying" on the last page (saying sorry when she doesn't mean it), the fact is that authority figures insist on this all the time. How many times have I watched Supernanny and the only way to get out of time-out is to say sorry - even when it's clear the kid is only sorry they got caught? Honestly admitting this is a step forwards, not backwards.

But, as always, I bow to the wishes of my nieces when deciding what to buy for them (at least, when I can't get it used and on sale!) And the one wasn't interested in the book, and the other actually didn't like it at all, requesting another book and saying that "She shouldn't do that!"

So a book that I'd rate four stars gets a star knocked off for not appealing to the kids it needs to appeal to - my own nieces.

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reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

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