Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate | Roger Fisher, Daniel Shapiro

Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate | Roger Fisher, Daniel Shapiro | Amazing, Useful

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Beyond Reason: Usi...

	Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate Roger Fisher, Daniel Shapiro Viking Adult, 2005 - 256 pages average customer review:based on 39 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Valuable book

I recently finished reading "Beyond Reason" by Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro. The book is centered on an idea that emotions play an important role in negotiations and provided an analytical view on how to best manage the emotional side of negotiations. While I was aware that emotions can have a big impact on a negotiation, or even a conversation, I really enjoyed the perspective that the authors offered on dealing with people who "abuse" the power of emotions, ranging from coercion by threat to playing on sympathy.

Although the advice of the authors was generally helpful, I sometimes questioned practicality of following the guidelines in day-to-day affairs. For example, the authors encouraged the readers to document and discuss each of the negotiations as part of constant learning process, often spending sixty to ninety minutes in follow up discussions. As a manager of a development team with frequent meetings, such analysis would put a significant damper on my productivity. However, I realize that the book is not intended to be followed as a "manual" and each person may have to make practical adjustments.

Overall, the book is a "must read" for everyone, not just frequent negotiators. In the book, I found a lot of advice on how to respect the emotions that govern the meeting in many different settings. Since I learn best from seeing complex concepts in action, the case study that concluded the book put a neat "bow" on a very enjoyable and valuable read.

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Amazing, Useful

I heard about this book from a friend in my reading group. Seven of us get together each week to discuss a novel or nonfiction. At first, I thought: "Why should I read a book on negotiation? I don't negotiate for a living?" But the book made me realize, first of all, that we negotiate all the time - whether with our kids, spouse, car salesperson, etc. What REALLY struck me, however, was the "five core concerns" they discuss. I've always been taught to hide my emotions. And this book helped me figure out how to USE my emotions in positive ways. I now approach my conversations with my husband and kids much differently. A simple book, but for me: life-changing!

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Finally, the follow-up to Getting to YES!

This is the long-awaited follow-up to Getting to Yes (one of Roger Fisher's previous bestsellers). Fisher basically created the entire field of negotiation. And this new book is a great follow-up. It tells you how to deal with emotions - yours and the other person's - in just about any interaction. Fisher and Shapiro highlight five ways that you can improve the tone of just about any interaction (e.g., through respecting autonomy, affiliation, status, etc.). The result is that you can get what you want. I truly believe that anybody who negotiates - whether with family, a colleague at work, or a tough counterpart - can benefit from this book. It's written in the same tone as "Getting to Yes" - i.e., you can read it in a few hours. And just like Getting to Yes, there are a few big points that are completely practical. I negotiate a lot of tough contracts as part of my job, and the ideas in this book are practical enough to use right away, and have enough depth that I know over time I'll understand them more and more...

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Belongs in every home and workplace

Fisher and Shapiro's book supplies the key missing piece in Roger Fisher's lifetime body of work creating the field of negotiation theory and practice: the role of emotion. After a series of books expanding the Getting to Yes paradigm into different substantive fields, such as long-term working relationships (Getting Together); international conflict (Beyond Machiaveli; Coping with International Conflict); group negotiations; and negotiation preparation, this new book addresses a whole new dimension of the negotiation process. Contains some of Fisher's most vivid and powerful stories as well as invaluable practical advice on how to "hear the music" of a negotiation and even set the tone yourself, creating positive emotions in others and making your own emotions work for you.

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Worth it!

This is a great book. I like the discussion of the five core concerns. They are very simple, but the truth is, we often forget to address them. If you're looking for a more specific guide to the do's and don'ts of what to say to build rapport and win people over, I suggest reading the book Instant Persuasion.

reviews: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, page 7, 8

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