Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most | Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, ... |...

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most | Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, ... | Simple and to the point!

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Difficult Conversa...

	Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, ... Penguin (Non-Classics), 2000 - 250 pages average customer review:based on 134 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Worth your time!

This book is worth your time. It will not solve all your problems though. There are some people who are set making a career out of being an A-hole. I got the book on CD's and listened to it about 5 times. The book teaches techniques in listening and speaking that one can use to disarm and reassure those around you. The effects I've experienced with "difficult people" are impressive. Even jerks will be caught off-guard for a while - you may not be able to get through every situation, but it's comforting that you have certainly given it your "best shot". This book shows how.

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Simple and to the point!

I have attempted to read this book 4 times over the past 5 years and have always failed. I have finally completed this book 2 days ago and found out that I have missed so much by completing it so late.
I have rated this book junk and advised others away from it but after completing it I found out that I was wrong. Maybe you could term this "difficult conversation" as well.

The author has concisely broken down the complex process into 3 distinct and digestible processes namely:
1. How to come to realise what actually happened,
2. Understand your own identity and its contribution to the problem at hand,
3. That all feelings, all parties should be expressed to have a meaningful and comprehensive conversation.

It is surprising that something so simple and existed for century should be misunderstood and until this book no one has clearly identified the process except for the symbols and symptoms.

Remember the saying, a battle is won only when you understand the enemy and plan strategically towards achieving it. If you believe this saga, then I advise you to read this book. Be determined to complete it so that you derive the most out of it and be unlike me to take 5 years to come to term and completed it.

Be flexible, difficult conversation is not restricted to verbal conversation, to me broaden it to non-verbal and even your own thinking and actions. Learn to actively use the skills learn here to all your daily routine and wish all success!

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I put it to use immediately!

This is an excellent book. As a life coach working with couples, I was able to start using the ideas from this book from the very first day I started to read it. The examples are great and I was able to relate to many of them. It's amazing what a small shift in perspective when you first start a difficult conversation can have on the end result.

I recommend this book to all my clients and give it my top rating.

Eric P Landry

Find Courage to Speak

Try to see the other person's point of view. This book will also help you step into those conversations you know you should have, but are afraid of.

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Be Curious About the Other Perspective

Gist of this audio-book: attempt to understand the other person's side, recognizing mutual causations of problems and only then working on their solutions. Most are solvable, but even when they're not, clearing the air properly beats living with a perpetual impasse.

Heavily involved - the difference in outlooks. People that work in the same office can be so different and live such different lifestyles that they may as well live on different planets. I once read a book someone else had liberally underlined - she had even added passionate comments in the margins. I thought it was a good book, too, but wasn't particularly impressed by the parts she was so enamored with. We may as well have read different books.

Differing perspectives spill over into every difficult conversation. Studies consistently show that humans are subject to biased thinking; building cases as to why we are right and ignoring evidence suggesting we are wrong. Each party is right if the issue is looked at only from their vantage point. All parties are entering the arena with vastly different data bases, so the first step is to be willing to be curious (not judgemental) about the other person's perspective.

I was once in a position to attend most of the committee meetings of a mid-sized company. Different aspects of several recurrent problems were repeatedly discussed among different mid-management players in different committees. It soon became obvious too me that certain major players desperately needed to understand each others perspectives. Unfortunately, these people rarely spoke to each other. On hot issues, they did talk at length with their friends, who invariably fortified their rather righteous positions. For any kind of resolution, a difficult conversation would have been called for - one requiring curiousity about the other points of view.

In the audio version, mini-dramas are acted out. In the first set-up, complete with confrontational dialogue, Jack has clearly been wronged by Michael. Once we are thoroughly on Jack's side, however, we hear from Michael and the contrasting views are astounding. Suddenly this CD has my attention.

Application of the principles from this CD has brought me immediate results. Some of the mini-dramas sound simplistic, but they aren't any more simplistic, or deeply felt, than the misunderstandings I observe frequently in life.

Downside: The organization of this CD set is not as good as its substance. For that, I subtracted a star.

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