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The Enlightened Stepmother: Revolutionizing the Role | Perdita K. Norwood, Teri Wingender | An Essential Guide for Anyone
 
 


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 The Enlightened St...  

The Enlightened Stepmother: Revolutionizing the Role
Perdita K. Norwood, Teri Wingender

Harper Paperbacks, 1999 - 464 pages

average customer review:based on 31 reviews
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     highly recommended  highly recommended




Gotta have it...

"The Enlightened Stepmother" is an amazingly thorough look at the life of the stepmom, including her fears and worries, her problems and challenges, and a realistic assessment of her chances for happiness. Mrs. Norwood takes a stance that stepmoms everyone can understand, calling us "one of the last social groups still in the closet."

She says that we are "new pioneers" because society still often has a misunderstood and unfavorable view of the stepmom -- the wicked woman who takes mom's place and isn't to be trusted. This prevailing stereotype makes life even harder for the stepmom who is insecure or unsure of her place in the family. Mrs. Norwood's book helps that stepmom with a straightforward, in-depth and honest investigation into her life.

"The Stepmom's Quick Primer" at the beginning of the book gives the reader "twelve essential gems of wisdom." These brief items give to-the-point advice and inspiration to the struggling stepmom. It's just the beginning to a lengthy analysis of all aspects of the stepmom's life.

The book is divided into four parts. Part 1, "Getting to Know You," focuses on the stepmom's view of herself and her stepfamily. The author helps the reader explore exactly what her role, rights and responsibilities are and understand her expectations. Part 2, "Relationships," encourages the stepmom to apply the same research that she applied to her own feelings to the other people in her life, to learn directly what everyone feels and what they expect instead of relying on preconceived perceptions.

Part 3, the "Lifestyle and Practical Matters" section, covers those day-to-day concerns that can't be left to chance: the wedding, custody and visitation, discipline, holidays, school, money and more. This section includes the very helpful "Stepmom's Legal File." The final part, "Is This What I Want?" recognizes that we all reach a "moment of truth" in our stepmotherhood when we have to make the choice to embrace or exit this role. This section helps the reader evaluate her satisfaction and progress with some tough questions about how she really feels.

Mrs. Norwood comforts even the most distraught or confused stepmom, noting that "attitudes conducive to successful stepmotherhood can be learned." She gives us all hope.


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An Essential Guide for Anyone

I don't think anyone really knows what they are getting into when they marry a man with children. This book is essential to let you know the challenges and joys ahead and then as a guide of how to get through them. There are a million books to help you help your stepchildren. However, this book offers you the tools you need to help yourself. Little steps on how to build your family from the outset to be a place you can be happy and be yourself. I had a bad night last night. And for a few precious minutes, I read a book that was focussed on me - not as a mother or a wife, but as a person with my own challenges. It offered me peace of mind. And with every new change in my life, I want to reread sections to get the same ideas from a different perspective. This book is a key that can help any stepmother. I can't recommend it enough.


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the best one I've read

I became a fulltime stepmother 3 years ago to two young children whose mother had died. I was very much in love with their father, and the children accepted me immediately as their "mother substitute". However, after the initial fantasy period (which is described accurately in the book), the real problems began. My husband and I went through hell trying to pick our way through the monumental challenges of living together as a stepfamily.

It was at this point that I had the brilliant idea of researching the whole issue of stepmotherhood. Fortunately, this was one of the first books I read along with Cherie Burns' book "Stepmotherhood: How to Survive Without Feeling Frustrated, Left Out or Wicked". Both these books saved my sanity and also helped my husband understand that what I was going through was perfectly normal and understandable. I highly, highly recommend this book!! It's worth several counselling sessions and probably more value for your money.


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An important compass for every stepmother!

This book not only clarified my role as a stepmother, but helped
me better understand my husbands situation as well. This was
the first helpful book I have read on the subject of
steparenting. The best parts for me are the "Action Boxes"
at the end of each chapter...they really aided me in taking a
proactive role in being a sucessful stepmother. I am very thankful to have this book and refer to it often.


Signifigant Other Step-Mother

The world has changed and so has the concept of what consitutes responsibility in the family arena. Once a couple who have brought a child or multiple children, into the world, decide to divorce and go their separate ways, the care of the children becomes quite diverse.
This book solidly points out the intricacy of this "situation". By creating a child, we create a very complex web of life changing events. By ending the genetic family scenario, we further complicate what, at this point in our culture, is our most challenging responsibility...
to raise a child.
The "step-parent" can become the hero, or most likely, the martyr, if the child is supported.
The "step-parent" can become the villian , or most likely the outcast, if the child is challenged.
This book simply states that there is incredibly more to continuing your life after a divorce when children are involved.


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reviews: 1, 2, 3, page 4, 5, 6, 7



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