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Dear Exile : The True Story of Two Friends Separated (for a Year) by an Ocean | Hilary Liftin, Kate Montgomery | A window- letters and humanity
 
 


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 Dear Exile : The T...  

Dear Exile : The True Story of Two Friends Separated (for a Year) by an Ocean
Hilary Liftin, Kate Montgomery

Vintage, 1999 - 208 pages

average customer review:based on 55 reviews
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     highly recommended  highly recommended




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In an age of cell phones and e-mail and instant access, a pair of people who write long, detailed letters and mail them (with stamps!) seems unusual. And what letters! These are no slapdash, catty-chatty constructions, but rather articulate, vivid, thoughtful epistles between two people living very different lives in the 1990s.

The letters are real; they are the products of former Yale roommates Kate Montgomery and Hilary Liftin. Kate, recently married, moves to Kenya with her husband to teach English for the Peace Corps. Her narrative of life in Africa begins with stunned delight (giraffes walk by!). Increasingly, though, her letters begin to detail the awful conditions and debasement of the people there. We learn of rampant disease (Kate seems to catch every one of them), polluted water, and unsanitary schools where students are beaten mercilessly.

Hilary, from the other side of the ocean, relates her experience as a single woman looking for love, satisfying work, and a decent apartment in New York City. Her stories are funny, poignant, sometimes heartbreaking, and just as interesting as Kate's.

The best story of all, though, is that of the friendship that sustains and enriches these two passionate women across the miles.


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A window- letters and humanity

This book is a page turner! I believe that writing is the window to one's soul; therefore, through their letters, Kate and Hillary bear just this. In the age of "instant message" and "Email," their letters prove that the "written" word still has a place in our lives. These women poignantly captured a crucial year in their lives through their words. I laughed with Hillary (as she reminded me of my best friend) bumbling through thirty-something, singles life. I cringed at Kate's experiences, my being a teacher, as I was truly moved by the inhumane treatment of the students and teachers in the African schools; now, her experiences have me thinking if evil is inherent in humankind. I was saddened by the ending; after such an endearing journey through their lives for one year, the reader is left wondering if the authors' lives changed from this "special" experience.


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Remarkable for the contrast

Two friends from two very different worlds correspond. The juxtaposition is striking. One letter writes of computers and getting a new apartment and dating and romance from the slick comsmopolitan world of New York City. In the next letter, you are transported to a world of poor sanitation, a place where people have very different ideas about pace of life and what's important, a place where you cannot speak against abuse and injustice due to red tape. In one letter it is the heat of an African summer, in the next, a snowy day in New York. I noticed many other reviewers are judging the quality of one against the other. I didn't judge - I enjoyed the book for it's contrast of two different worlds. I enjoyed the book as one who often feels lost and aimless in a post-graduate world. I identified with the political aspects of civil service as well as the practical aspects of single life in the US. You may find yourself drawn to Hilary's sophisticated social upwardly-mobile scene, and/or to Kate (and husband Dave's) world of reserved stranger in a strange land, her quiet perseverence trying against great odds to make the world a better place in the Peace Corps.

A couple of asides - sometimes the language seems to get a little too "precious", which is to be forgiven. Also, it feels like so much was left out, like the book could have been twice as thick as it was somehow. One last note, should this book ever become a movie (it has a rather cinematic quality to it) I think husband Dave will steal the show, even as he played a minor role in the book, he always delivers a great performance!


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Quality of friendship

This was an easy read and really spoke to the quality of friendship that can exist between two very different women, each at a very different stage of their lives. However, I'm disappointed to see that some of the reviewers found Hilary's part of the book to be less important than Kate's. I found Hilary's letters to be wildly creative and amusing and I thought that she was extraordinarly brave to let her voice be heard next to her friend's, who outwardly seemed to be doing something more "noble" with her life. I also imagine that there was some serious editing involved with these letters and that there are large parts of each woman's life that don't come through here.

What I also found disappointing is that many readers might believe Kate's Peace Corps experience to be typical. While what she experienced was harsh, there are thousands of volunteers who have experienced much harsher environments and who gave it more than a year and were richly rewarded for their tenacity and willingness to suspend judgement. Those are the PC stories I'd rather hear.


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Where are my old letters?

"Dear Exile" sells itself as a book of letters between two friends separated by more than distance. The reader follows two completely different life paths. I found Kate's story to be fascinating, to see how one copes in a third world country and how the views of its citizens are so alien to our own (in America.) Hilary's story was less absorbing. Frankly, it was like listening to a women who is full of herself. She makes it seem that she is the only one who has had to suffer through the ordeal of dating. Please, give me a break. Hilary's "trials and tribulations" of living in NYC certainly aren't anything that millions of other people haven't gone through. Nothing special in her story, but without her letters, as page filler, there wouldn't have been enough to publish a book. I wish Kate would have written more about her experiences.


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reviews: 1, 2, page 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11



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